SICK.

Oh fuck.

"If girls realized the consequences of having sex, nobody would be having sex"?????

Stick to sucking Alaskan dick Bristol, the only reason you had no idea where babies come from is because your whole family is comprised fucking retard christians who can't let the word CONDOM reach the ears of anyone or anything. You know? I think I will start a little fun from this...

This shitty shitty world wants YOU to get an envelope, get a stamp and send a fucking condom to Sarah Palin's office. Just write down on a sheet of paper "FOR BRISTOL" and send as many as you can. HERE!

Sarah Palin/Bristol Palin

Box 110001, Juneau, AK

99811-0001

Because knowledge is power!

Mommies and daddies shouldn't be brother and sister.

Some kid drew this for me at work.

"Good job, dude. Except spiderman doesn't have a fucking gray cape you little retard."

Total bullshit, this coffee tasted like asshole.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AGHHHH!!!!!

"A'right, it's gonne' be a fuckin' picture of the earth from the moon, an' thurz gonna be this astronaut there, planting the red white and blue in one a' them moon craterz..But the astroman is a fuckin' ALIEN."

"You gotta put that shit awn the back'yer truck, motherfucker."

Pussy jokes aplenty!

Gross.

"Yeah I'll take some Juicy fruit, this pair of shitty sunglasses and some Sweet Pussy oil. My mom's coming home for Thanksgiving and, dammit, she just cant live without the smell of Pussy in the house."

Planned Parenthood.

Seriously though, I didn't even move it there. This fucking baby mannequin was done for the moment they stole it and brought it home from Gymboree. Probably went really nicely next to the Magic Johnson life-size, cardboard cutout.

Epic parking job. Really.

HAHAHAHA!!! I hate living in the south.

--All the "REAL MEN FUCK JESUS" stickers must have been sold out. What the fuck is wrong with christians? Dont you just love how hard they fight to keep gays from getting married yet want to spend eternity sitting on the lap of a bearded man? Fuck this.

So somebody tell me where the fuck these cigarettes are from...

Euro cigs, American blend? REALLY?? So these are cigarettes that are made in europe from american tobacco and then sold in America? Smells like bullshit to me.

FUCK.

Oh whole foods, you are just SO fucking urban and chic and fucking sophisticated. I just blow a load every time I bite into a designer, 100% all natural, 300% gourmet, no sugar added, batteries not included apple in the farmers bushel produce section with all my yuppie friends in their hemp fucking pants and shirts and sashes. Mmmm, tastes like a higher price but god dammit I feel cooler than those dirty mud race publix shoppers.

I wish I could hear their stupid little screams as I lit this magazine on fire...

Mommy fucking magazine?

...

Yes, Yes and on the 9th day of the week, god told everyone that he was thinking about shaving the week back down to 7 days...

"At the gym I take Met RX, but at the office I'm ballz deep in cocaine."

Juice for Jesus!

So I ran into Nosferatu last night...

This bum came up to me last night while I was enjoying a beer and like any vampire would, tried to drain me of whatever life energy i had starting with my change. At first, I didn't really mind, but then when I gave him a dime he asked for a cigarette. Immediately I thought to myself how much it must rule to get up every morning and be such a social vamp, and the image of Nosferatu blinked in my head. No shit, he looks just like him. Teeth and all!

So i ask to snap a few shots of him and when he asks why I tell him just because he looks so cool. He buys it for a while but then gets a little frustrated at how many I take. Nos!

HAHAHA

Welp, joke's on you dumbshit because guess what?
Kids don't run for office!
"I vote for kids?"
Thats like saying I vote for fucking retards or puppies or something completely corny and face value like that. This is like the next level of "My child is an honor student" stickers but 10 dollars says this driver is completely sterilized.

Anyone else notice how much debbie rowe looks like a haggard, drunk for 10 years version of Robbin williams?

Tell me you don't see it!!!

Ugh

You know what pisses me off worse than stupid fucking people?
Stupid fucking people who have stupid fucking daughters who they allow to run around in shit like this.

Future fucking trophy wife? I saw this girl at a horrible party and she actually let me take this picture of her.
Not only is this a great example of idiot PEOPLE, but it is a great example of the fact that this kind of attitude is well accepted in the main stream as a fucking normal train of thought. Really sickening.

The American Dream.

HAH!

mmm

Wha--?

Oh the goodness of peoples hearts!

So, I guess starting this blog out, I'm just going to give you a run down as far as what to expect from this shitty shitty world blog...

I go out. Most of the time, if I am lucky I can find a great time with great people, but, in the middle points when I am just walking around thinking about pussy or bums (not in that order or even in reverse) I usually run across crazy shit.

It's happened most of my life and truly, I think it happens to other people too. I guess most people just aren't as super duper hip like I t0tally am and make a whole fucking blog about their stupid encounters and weird observations. Expect a bit of sarcasm from this place, expect complete mockery of the human condition, expect a shitty shitty world.

In fact!
I was recently in Goodwill and was pretty stoked on how much good will was going around when I saw this heap of crazy shit in the electronics department...



Goodwill, now helping serial killers get organized. Great. Who decided to put these two items in the same SECTION, no less right next to each other? THAT IS A FUCKING ELECTRIC SAW AND A HOCKEY MASK ON THE SAME SHELF.

WTF?!?!